It was a Tuesday morning when Mabel Hutchins discovered her prize-winning orange marmalade had vanished from the church bake sale table, and frankly, the town has not recovered. Neither has Mabel. Neither, if we're being honest, has this reporter.
For context: Mabel's marmalade has won the Whiskey Pines Preserve Competition for eleven consecutive years. Eleven. That's longer than most marriages in this town. That's longer than the hardware store's "temporary" closure sign has been up. This marmalade is an institution.
Sheriff Hank Waverly was called to investigate, which is a bit like calling a plumber to perform heart surgery, but Hank showed up with his notepad and his best "I am taking this seriously" face. He asked Mabel if perhaps she'd forgotten to bring the marmalade.
The silence that followed could have frozen Lake Michigan in July.
"Henry Waverly," Mabel said, in a voice that made three separate bystanders take a step backward, "I have been making that marmalade since before you were a twinkle in your daddy's eye. I carried it here myself at precisely 7:43 this morning. I set it on this table. I went to get coffee. When I came back, it was gone. Now are you going to find my marmalade, or am I going to have to do everything myself, as usual?"
Theories are circulating. Was it a rival preserver? A marmalade-obsessed tourist? The ghost of Old Man Henderson, who always did have a sweet tooth? Several people have suggested checking with the Hendersons in general, but nobody's brave enough to actually do it.
The investigation continues. The bake sale has reported record attendance, as half the town has shown up hoping to witness Mabel stare someone into confession. This reporter will provide updates as the situation develops, assuming we survive.
Updates to follow as this situation develops. Anyone with information is encouraged to contact the Whiskey Pines Journal or Sheriff Waverly's office — though this reporter suggests leading with Sheriff Waverly, as Mabel's current disposition makes direct contact inadvisable.